Checking In...

Hey Guys. Why does it feel like the world is closing in? Like everything is falling apart instead of coming together? I have these thoughts. Thoughts that I sometimes can't explain, do you? Don't you feel like things in the world are a mess? I stare off everyday wondering what's in store, because you just never know. I can't exactly explain why things are the way they are because I didn't cause them. What I can say is..... you have the chance to make a difference. If you don't like something, make a change. Have sketchy feelings about someone, cut them off. Things don't quite add up, remove yourself from the equation.

Here I am. Here I am checking in because every now and then, someone out there in the world needs to be checked on. They may not say it out loud, but they could need help. If you can make a difference in a person's life, do it -no matter how big or small. You'll not only make someone happy, you'll feel good about it.

Mondays

Monday: The first day of the week.

The day you set all your goals, tasks -shit you really don't want to do. You feel "blaa" because you're recovering from either a weekend of chaos or a weekend of solitude. For those who work, Mondays are usually the days that are either really busy or just really suck.

But not all Mondays are bad. Some may see Mondays as the day to start over, a day to try new things -a day to change themselves. I take Mondays how they come. Wouldn't it be great if you could be a brand new person (not literally) every Monday? To have every issue from the past week to disappear?

Two Different Worlds

What if you were with a man/woman with different life goals than you. You're madly in love with this person but you're not sure if it would work because you want different things. How do you handle that? How to you overcome a feeling of confusion? How do you get unstuck?

I can tell you this..... if both of you are not on the same level on everything, and I'm not talking about career paths or who makes more money because no couple is making the same amount of money -I'm talking about in life values........ then it probably won't work out -unless you both settle for what it is. It's better to be honest and open with one another BEFORE you get too involved so that you can avoid a situation that'll have you stuck. People are too quick to rush into something before actually getting to know the situation. Moral of the story.... pay attention to the signs given to you -vibes never lie.

Women With Purpose

There's no doubt that women are the strongest human beings. In fact, It's almost like we were chosen for this life. The fact that we can indure things like our menstral cycle, puberty/hormones, and even childbirth is beyond a magic power by even the best magician! We put up a fight, we break down, we get back up, and we fight again! Being a women is quite the honor, I wouldn't want to be anything else.

I believe we were put on this earth to serve and survive. We as women have a purpose whether we know it or not. Our purpose may not all be the same, but we know we are destined to be more than what the media projects. We are strong, we are solid, and anyone who tries to argue that is showing nothing but intimidation. 

We women with a purpose, we have the right to be anything we put our mind to. Remember, "a grind is a terrible thing to waste."

Premarital Things

One of the things Honey and I have agreed to do is premarital counseling since we are pretty young and about to move into our first home, not only away from our parents but with another person. To avoid the little things that stress a relationship when living with someone else, we want to make sure we get all the guidance and advice we can get so that we can walk down the aisle with nothing but positive energy and bring nothing but love and support to one another. 💖

Pro-Black

Where do I even start?!

For one, I know I'm not the only one that feels African Americans were never going to get a chance in society. After Martin Luther King Jr. I'm sure we all thought THAT was the moment we were going to be equal and treated like everyone else. WRONG! Not only does racial profiling go back for decades, it never really left society. I'm not here to bash America but let's face it..... this country was always intended to be run by white people. Having an African American to lead our country, I thought, was going to be the start of equality and justice for our people, but BOY was I wrong! There were so many people for, yet so many people against the idea of having a black leader in the White House. But then again, there was never any intent to give our people justice. I won't even TOUCH the topic of the racist cops we have killing our innocent people because that rant could go on forever! Instead, I'm going to voice how I feel about my people in general:

I am VERY much so pro-black! I'm not racist (not that I can be), nor do I hate white people. BUT..... I am and have ALWAYS been for MY people because I believe that the treatment we receive is just sad and disgusting! I think it's safe to say that we all (as African Americans) have experienced a little racial profiling at least once in our lives; whether it's a dirty look when you walk by, whether a person gets up and moves to a different section of a train/bus as you sit near them, whether you're hanging with a group of friends outside and a person crosses the street instead of walking on the side they were originally on to avoid you all, or simply walking into ANY store and getting eyes burned into your skin because you "look" like you could potentially steal something probably because you're browsing for "too long". All of these are small signs of racial profiling, and whether they want to admit it or not, they ALL (in the back of their minds) have these thoughts -or maybe worse thoughts, who knows!

I took it upon myself to come up with the idea to somehow change the system. In order to do that though... we obviously have to get through congress first which means congress needs to change! I feel like a lot of the people in congress have been there for too damn long and the office needs a fresh pair of eyes, DIVERSITY in members, and some younger congress members that'll be able to voice their opinion/speak for their generation to change the game and possibly change the system. Will I think this will stop all crime or the problems in the world? No. Do I think it'll make a HUGE difference? Definitely. Will it be easy? Hell no! Is it worth a try? Hell Yes.

What Do you think? Comment below with your feedback and/or any ideas you may have.

Grudge

Noun: a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment resulting from a past insult or injury.

People often link grudge to being "bitter" or a bad person, but I don't believe that's true. People think that if you hold a grudge, you're setting yourself up for a fail. I believe that a person can live their life even with a grudge of a past traumatic experience. In my opinion there are two types of a grudge:

1. Long-term Grudge: A long-term grudge is a grudge that consumes your everyday life. In a long-term grudge, you're giving that grudge the power to control you and affect the people around you. Long-term grudges would cause you to be impatient with certain people or situations that remind you of the past traumatic experience. You can't fully move on with a long-term grudge because you've already allowed it to fester.

2. Short-term Grudge: A short-term grudge is easier to manage because you've allowed yourself to be above the pain. In a short-term grudge, you understand that your behavior affects the people around you so you make peace with the situation and move on without letting it run your life. Understand that a short-term grudge is still a grudge so it doesn't mean that all is forgiven and the pain is gone. the pain will always be there, you're just in better control of it.

When I was young -like toddler stage- my mother put me through a series of traumatic events, one of which involved drugs. Your mother is supposed to protect you from things like this, not put you through it. As a result of these events, my mother lost custody of me to the state. She didn't really care, and I wasn't really sure what was going on. I've held a long-term grudge from beginning, up until 2 years ago. I guess as I got older and became a mother, I realized that I didn't want my mother's issues to define my life. Plus, I wanted my daughter to form her own opinion of her grandmother and not be corrupted by me. I knew I needed to move on and live my life. I recently asked a preacher if God would forgive me for not letting go of this pain and he looked at me and said, "God does not judge us for what we don't know or understand. He looks at the intentions of our hearts" then he prayed for me. I knew that this was something that I could never forgive her for and that the hope for a relationship between us was damaged. But I can live with this short-term grudge because I know I won't let it affect the rest of my life.

Under NO circumstance am I saying you should hold a grudge just because I did. I shared this post because I truly believe a person shouldn't be faulted for something they went through that wasn't their fault. It's not WHAT we go through that defines us, it's HOW we deal with it.

Fear

What are humans most afraid of? Failure.

When you think of fear, you think of the very thing that keeps us from moving forward. Fear is the "Satin" of your conscience. It taunts you, keeping you from succeeding your purpose. 

I would sit sometimes, think of all the things I'm afraid of, and go over all the things I've let fear control. You'd be surprised how much fear dictate our decisions sometimes.

I heard probably the REALEST quote ever: If we let fear drive our decisions, we will never experience true joy."

It's okay to be cautious, just don't let your fears run your life.

Real "Relationship Goals"

I figured I'd do a little post on REAL relationship goals to help people look for the right things in a partner. These "goals" our generation have nowadays are childish and unrealistic. Matching Jordans and cars should NOT be something to look forward to. Here are some things I feel are key to a happy relationship:

  • A relationship is a partnership.
  • What you should want in a relationship is loyalty, love, and fun.
  • Work on wanting a secure and stable foundation with this person.
  • Helping one another out in hardships and not making your partner feel inferior. It would be a miracle if two people were bringing equal amounts to the table and I get that it doesn't always happen, but if someone is in a worse situation than their partner it's important to bring up your partner and not make them feel less than.
  • Being supportive of eachother.
  • Helping one another be better for not only you, but for themselves.

I like to use my own relationships in situations like this because I've been in a relationship where I wasn't doing as well as my partner and it took a toll on me because we would always argue about who's doing better in life and at the time, I had an infant to take care of so my situation wasn't the greatest but I did what I could and apparently it wasn't enough so he would make me feel inferior. I never really liked the idea of asking for help whenever I really needed it because I always got that "you wouldn't have that if it weren't for me" or "I've done this for you"... etc. so I would always rather struggle on my own and depend on myself but being in a relationship where I didn't feel equal, I told myself that ever since then, I knew that I didn't deserve to be treated like that. Remember what's important in a relationship and you and your partner will have a happy, successful relationship. You should always want the best for yourself -you deserve to be treated like a King or Queen but with every successful relationship, there are two successful individuals. 💕